How Money Beliefs Undermine Confidence and Lead to Self-Sabotage

Jason · 00:00Welcome to episode 240 of the Numbers Game. I'm Jace. I'm here with Nick and Marty. And Marty. Just quickly, 10 more eps raising the bat for two 50. Uh, what are we, what are you, you excited? We we're, uh, it sort of snuck up big party. It has snuck up. It sort

Marty · 00:13of snuck up because I know you were getting excited at 2 0 6 and now all of a sudden I've forgotten about it for a while.

Marty · 00:19And, uh, yeah, we're just, geez, it's, uh, rolling along, isn't it? I thought we'd, uh, maybe do 50 or so, but yeah, up to two 50. That's pretty good achievement. Yeah. No,

Jason · 00:29it's, uh, the show, the show goes on, mate. The numbers are fantastic. We're loving it. And, uh, we're, we're joined. Uh, for Annette, from you Marty, you're, uh, steering the way today.

Jason · 00:37What have you got for us?

Marty · 00:39Uh, I just wanted to talk about the cost of confidence and I just feel in talking to a lot of business owners and people in general, I feel like confidence and a lack thereof sometimes really cost people more than they realize. And in other ways, you know, that you always see that confident person you go, I don't know whether they should be that confident, but they

Marty · 01:00given what they're doing, but they get results because they have more front than Myers and they get the job done.

Marty · 01:05And, uh. Yeah, and I just, I just wanted to open it up to you guys in regards to a lot of, I think things that happen to us in our youth, a lot of adults carry on with, and sometimes it's unrecognizable to them and it impacts them in some ways, and I think sometimes. If you want to, if you want to change the way to achieve something, you have to change the way within yourself as a first foundational principle.

Marty · 01:32But I was gonna throw it open to yourselves. Is there, is there any, like, um, is there any sort of belief that you carry from youth? That's either a hindrance or a positive. I don't mind which one, but it'll demonstrate, you know, it'll demonstrate my point. Um, Jace, anything that you, you remember from youth that you've carried on that you'd love to address or something that you know, works for you that you picked up?

Jason · 01:57Oh, it depends how personal and emotional we're

Jason · 02:00gonna get, but, um, I would say the first thing that comes to mind of, you know, something from, from youth that has stayed with me was. I was pretty overweight. Um, you know, I was a chubby kid. I was teased for being overweight. Um, so that's something that, that has stayed with me.

Jason · 02:15That is always something on the back of my mind that, am I still this, am I the chubby accountant that, that I, you know, I'm not confident, you know, I beat myself up over it. It can, it can control some conversations with case where I'm feeling a bit, you know, not, not good about myself in a certain way. And then really, I mean, for anyone like, you guys know me, I'm, I'm a confident guy.

Jason · 02:32Like I'm shoulders back, chin up, I'm. Got a bit of, you know, as you said, that person who is confident, maybe they, you know, the thought process is maybe I shouldn't be. Um, I'd say that's one that stuck with me for a very long time that I'm always focused on is that, you know, I, I'm conscious about that and that stuck with me from a child childhood point of view.

Marty · 02:48And you've, you've kind of turned that into. Uh, a kind of superpower and running marathons and everything. So again, even though relationship and, and now, it, well could be, but there's

Marty · 03:00certainly, you've built resources around, you know, around that as well. But it's interesting how that thought still provokes an emotion within you.

Marty · 03:06Right. And it's like, and sometimes, you know, we just need to be able to let that go and we might do the behaviors to transcend it, but sometimes that emotions. Bill dictates, you know, how we, how we feel about ourselves. And, and I'm gonna go into that a little bit more as we go. Might come back to that chase later.

Jason · 03:23Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was, I was thinking that might happen.

Marty · 03:26Nick, is there anything, um, that you take outta your, your youth that is either a positive or that you carry through or

Nick · 03:33There's two. Uh, and the only thing I'm gonna say too is 'cause like Jason, I was, I was chubby from probably. Well, most of high school, well, for the first good part of high school, and I, I reckon that's instilled in me just this obsession with never being chubby again.

Nick · 03:50And, you know, that creates the habits that I've got today, which is, you know, try and train or do some kind of exercise all day, uh, every day. And kind of, I try and eat right. So I reckon I'm just saying that 'cause

Nick · 04:00Jason, I think. That's what drives me to do what I do now because I've been there. But probably the one, the first thing that comes to mind Marty, is, is growing up in a family with not a lot of money.

Nick · 04:12Like we weren't broke, but you know, I was, mum was single for a single mum for a long time, so everything was earned. Um, we never had the best of everything of, of anything. Money was always a topic, although we had everything we needed. Money was always a topic, and I, and I recognized. What that has done to me is.

Nick · 04:34I never have the best things. And it might to, to a lot of people that might sound strange. 'cause might, some people might say, oh, you drive a nice car and you've got a nice watch, and, but they're not the best. I'll always, I'll always peg it back from what I think I probably could have. And I reckon that's from childhood and being a little bit cautious about not spending money, but how you're perceived.

Nick · 04:57Um. So, you

Nick · 05:00know, I'll, I'll always look to find a cheaper option in something or a, you know, a more economical way to do something. Um, clothes, I don't buy expensive clothes, and if I do, I'll buy them once every five years. So it's just little things like that that I think come from a childhood of, you know, money not being.

Nick · 05:20Readily available and always a topic. And even today I still see it, you know?

Marty · 05:25So, so having made more money, and I know, you know, it's, it's like this, you would've transcended what you were thinking back when you were young in that situation. What's your relationship with that now? Is it, is it, like, do, do you have a sense of, uh, comfort?

Marty · 05:42Nah,

Nick · 05:43no. I'm, I'm, I'm not joking when I say I would think of money every hour of every day. Yeah, and I'm not even it, it completely drives my thought patterns and it's not a shit I need to make more money. I want no, gimme money. Gimme money.

Nick · 06:00Every decision I make and every thought, nearly every second thought during the day is about money.

Nick · 06:07Good at good and bad. Yeah, whether it's healthy or not, I don't, it's probably not healthy. I'm sure people have other things, but I'll think about the weirdest things, like, and I'll, I'll be worried about things two or three years down the. Down the track. And, and that's, that's definitely all come from childhood and not, you know, having harder times, um, as a kid, I think.

Nick · 06:29Yeah.

Marty · 06:29Yeah. And, and thanks for your honesty, both Nick and Jace on that, because it's, again, we all have these things and I see that. In, in a lot of people, like I'm actually trained to work people through these things and, and their connection and, and the thing is like even when you get a result, that's a good result.

Marty · 06:46It still comes with the same anxiety as that young 7-year-old, right? And it's the same as, you know, you're healthy running marathons now, giving up a bit of drinking for three weeks. Chase very proud of you on that. But, uh, but again, it, it, it still

Marty · 07:00triggers those, those feelings about yourself and. Now you've found ways through to make it work for you in some way.

Marty · 07:06And it's just a matter of releasing the stress around, you know, your youth. Um, but some people can't maneuver through it. Some people get trapped by that thought and continue to suffer and be traumatized with no action through it. And um, and that's where the dangers. Really start to step in and I, I can give you my own experience.

Marty · 07:25We were very similar to Nick and Jason anyway, except I'm chubby now, but I still have confidence. But, but, um, but the, the thing is like. One of my personal stories is my dad worked really hard for his money. Mm. Immigrant from the 1970s. Uh, always worked two jobs, $20 in his pocket. Um, and we always had a roof over our head and we had food on the table.

Marty · 07:52Um, but it was. He was always talked about that there was no money. You know, it had to be a skinny Christmas or we couldn't go on

Marty · 08:00holidays. And, and as much as I'm grateful, because, you know, dad did as well as, uh, he could with what he knew too. Right. And even in regards to his guidance to me was very much trying to protect me rather than, you know, rather than, um, anything else.

Marty · 08:14So, so I'm very grateful for everything he did, but I also know that. I, I needed to transcend the story in some way if I was ever gonna break outta that, outta that mindset as well for what I wanted for my life. Now, what do you think, dad? Working, you know, two jobs doing it. Tough, thought about wealthy people.

Marty · 08:36Throw, throw a couple at me. Uh, what do you reckon he'd think about it? Scammers. Scammers, fraud. Yeah.

Nick · 08:44Yeah. Yeah. Drugs must be doing, must be up to no good.

Marty · 08:48Yeah. Must be up to no good. All you do, you know, all I do is work, you know, and, and, you know, rich,

Jason · 08:55rich get richer and the poor work harder.

Marty · 08:58That's it.

Marty · 08:59Yeah. All

Marty · 09:00that. That's my story. That's my story. So, so for me it was, um. That, that really is interesting and I'll delve a little bit more into it how I broke through it. Now, I also had positive beliefs like my grandmother, you know, great matriarch of the family. She always gave me the belief that everything will be okay.

Marty · 09:20I can't tell you how that belief has helped me. I. Like no matter what the circumstances, no matter what the tragedy, it's like everything's gonna be okay, is in the back of my head. So a lot of these thoughts we have about ourselves aren't even our thoughts, right? Mm-hmm. They've been instilled. So when it was really interesting for me, I.

Marty · 09:40In the Yara Valley at the time, I started to see families that were doing things differently. Like I saw, uh, one of my friends, Ashley, his parents owned an apple orchard. They were running a business. Um, they seemed like they had conversations when there was any kind of conflict. They talked it through and our family.

Marty · 09:58You know, the conversations

Marty · 10:00just got louder. Not so necessarily smarter, right? But that, that, that was what it was. And I could see these people were more connected into the community. They had nicer cars, but they weren't flaunting it. Um, they just seemed well adjusted. So I was very fortunate to see a number of these different families so I could ask better questions for myself as to, you know, what I wanted.

Marty · 10:23And, um. The What Works business course that I did when I was, um, when I was 18, where it actually mapped out your goals and mapped out your visions for your life and what you wanted to accomplish. And I thought, this is amazing. I could actually, what I could call this and then I can build a model and a strategy to go and achieve it.

Marty · 10:42I thought, this is, this is incredible. This was like the world opening up to me as to what was, what was possible. And then all of a sudden I started doing better. You know, I started, I got into the bank, I got. More money than dad. Um, I did standup comedy nights. I started to transcend, I started to earn

Marty · 11:00probably five times more than what dad is dad, dad did.

Marty · 11:04Now, now I'm not saying that, I'm just saying that for the premise, and not to gloat, but to, to say this is, this is what happened now. Do you think I felt good about that in the end? No. I felt like I was ostracizing myself to my own father at that point because of the fact that, um, I was now becoming the very thing he didn't like and was telling me these stories about people like this.

Marty · 11:30And, you know, he even said to me, you know, people in big cars. You know, what are they hiding? You know, big car, little man, right? And I love my dad, but this, but this was the thing. This is the battle I went through in my late twenties. And I go and I started to self-sabotage myself. To try and get myself, it's like the thermometer when you put it on 18 degrees and all of a sudden it's 30 and it just comes back to 18, it comes back to the belief, and I had to transcend that.

Marty · 11:58I go, I knew that I was

Marty · 12:00actually sabotaging myself and my opportunities, but um. And in the beginning I didn't know why. And then I did a lot of study around, you know, beliefs and patterns of behavior and it was fascinating to go, oh, I have to let this go. And, and, and it didn't, you know, it didn't mean I didn't love dad.

Marty · 12:19I, I love dad dear, and I'm very grateful and he's done the best he can with what he knows, which is tremendous. But for me, I have a different life and I have a different. Opportunity and to honor what he had created for me. You know, to me it's to expand and explore the possibilities of what that is for me, and I had to let those, those, those thoughts around that go.

Marty · 12:43But boy, oh boy, as I even talk about it now. Like the challenge to get through it. And I'm fortunate that I had mentors in my life that, um, that said, you know, this is your life and you are, you are running off an old behavior that really

Marty · 13:00doesn't serve you and an old belief that really doesn't serve you anymore.

Marty · 13:03And, um, you need to create some new beliefs about your own legacy of what you want for your life. And. It was a game changer, and I talk to business owners every day, and it doesn't matter how successful people are in business, you know, sometimes these personal challenges come up that stop them in many different ways.

Marty · 13:22Like I've seen many people with the Lamborghinis in the driveway, but no one in the house. You know, because they've been chasing something they didn't, they thought they wanted, but have lost everything they really wanted. So just people connecting back and aligning to what's important for them, um, is really, really critical to live the life that you want and then to expand off that foundation as opposed to the foundations of the past that keep gripping.

Marty · 13:50You resonating at all guys? I mean, I've been waffling on there a bit, but.

Jason · 13:54Definitely a hundred percent. I think, uh, you know, there's, there's so many books out there that I can think of that

Jason · 14:00talk about, you know, this in different way, shapes or form. You know, one of them is Jordan Peterson's 12 Rules of Life.

Jason · 14:05Talks about that confidence, that idea of, you know, if you walk into a room and you've got your shoulders back and your head up high, and how you portray confidence, you know how you'll be treated in life, how people will talk to you, how people will wanna do business with you. Versus if you walk in the room and feel small and look small and your shoulders are slumped and you are, you know, crouching down and you speak quietly.

Jason · 14:25Yeah. You, again, how someone will wanna work with you, how they might not purchase off you, what they will do with that, you know, and then thinking about that from a child all the way up to an adult, if, if there's two different people that walk into a room, the person with shoulders slumped, that speaks small and keeps down and keeps quiet versus.

Jason · 14:42A person with some confidence, shoulders back and a bit of bit of energy had spun about them. You know, who, who is going to get further in life. Just off that premise and that idea of that particular one rule. I mean, yeah, it goes deeper than that. Um, you know, the inner child, um, you know, the book I'm reading at the moment called the Alcohol Experiment just reframes again, the

Jason · 15:00ideas of the things you learn as a child are, are inbuilt and ingrained into your neural pathways of decision making.

Jason · 15:06So everything you've talked about, Marty, you know, sit here listening to the story again, thinking about, you know, both Nick and your story about the, you know, money growing up as well could probably have a similar thing. Dad worked two jobs, would work his guts out to put food on the table and, um, you know, that again, so that's something that I remember that created or framed my relationship with work was that well.

Jason · 15:27Every waking hour of the day, if I could be working to make money for my family or for my life, I should work more. But did that create an unhealthy relationship for me in my early career? Absolutely. Days correctly. Yeah. So

Marty · 15:38absolutely. I had to suffer for money. That was the, the thing was I needed to suffer for money.

Marty · 15:43Money couldn't come with ease. But for some it can. And there's a, there's a difference in making money to survive outta that mindset as opposed to abundance of going, how to create wealth that, um, takes you outta that ev They're two different, totally different mindsets. And when you

Marty · 16:00see entrepreneurs that crack the code, they've come out of, they've, they've transitioned from that.

Marty · 16:05A survival mindset into real abundance mindset. And you can, you can distinctly hear it when you talk to them and you can see it. Sometimes I go between the two still, you know, still. But, um, it's a work in progress. But, uh, it, and the alcohol one's interesting too, because. I was feeling crook with alcohol when I was drinking.

Marty · 16:24Now my family, you know, loved drinking, you know, they loved it. And it wasn't the expensive stuff, it was just to change the state and, uh, you know, have, have a good time. So, so I've never really had the appreciation of great wines because I've, uh, never been in those environments. Um, but the thing was. Even though it was making me crook, I was still drinking and I go because of this identity alignment with that.

Marty · 16:50And I go, so the person I wanted to become was, um, different to that. And now my identity is someone that doesn't drink. And I've made that choice for

Marty · 17:00myself. And like you said, you had three weeks off for me, I've had 13 years and it's been a real positive, um, in my life. Now, I'm not saying that's right for everyone because again, everyone has the right to have a drink and enjoy their, you know, enjoy what they do.

Marty · 17:14Um, you know, and, and that's for them to decide. But for me, that was my decision. And I had to stick by it even though, you know, it sort of was interesting in social circles, right? There was some sort of ostra, you, you get ostracized and stuff like that initially, but mm-hmm You've gotta be strong enough to go, you know, to live your beliefs and what you want to do for your life as well.

Marty · 17:36So, Marty,

Nick · 17:38this has been obviously. Pretty like, uh, I, I guess we're talking about personal stuff here. So as a business coach, like one of the things that I saw you do in this business was, um, create a new identity. Amongst certain salespeople. So, you know, how, how do you push people from, you know, um, 50

Nick · 18:00million settlements to, to 60 or 70?

Nick · 18:03It's creating that identity that this is a $70 million broker or, or what might, uh, whatever number might be appropriate for each business. Yeah. So is this the stuff. As a business coach, you are also talking about the business's identity and

Marty · 18:17Correct. Yeah. Every individual, you know, has, you know, you, you, you can become the person's confidence until they get evidence that it's theirs.

Marty · 18:27I. You know, even though it always was theirs, sometimes people can't tap into it on their own just based on their own limitations. So if you can provide confidence and you can provide action plans, which they start to trend and implement, and they get results, even if it's a little result and you get movement.

Marty · 18:46That builds confidence. Confidence comes through action. It's not about just being confident, it's doing the actions that build confidence, and that becomes a flywheel effect. So if they can do it from, you know.

Marty · 19:0050 to 75 mil, there's a good chance they'll be able to do it from 75 to a hundred mil. And all you need to do is can they do it with what they already know?

Marty · 19:09Do they need resources, you know, underneath them or around them to, to get that? Because the, the, the strange thing is someone. And I'll, I'll keep it simple and in monetary terms 'cause we, we are on numbers, but this can apply to any behavior. You know, someone doesn't earn 50,000 a year because they want to earn 50,000 a year.

Marty · 19:27They're just haven't built the confidence and know-how to earn a hundred thousand a year. Someone is earning that. It's the same with the business owner. You know the one that might be doing 500 grand a year, they haven't yet built the $4 million company, but someone has, and someone has a set of behaviors, a set of beliefs, a set of thoughts, a set of actions and models in order to achieve that.

Marty · 19:52So it's very, very simple and easy to go to these types of people and start to learn these types of behaviors and

Marty · 20:00transcend your own performance. But you gotta believe that you deserve that performance. And that's the, that's the confidence. If you don't believe you deserve that performance, you'll, you'll break down that and stick within your spectrum of where you are and not transcend and not explore your possibilities.

Marty · 20:18So for me, it's, uh, it's, it's, it's. Removing the weeds and just, just carefully placing these building bro blocks of people, being able to identify what they're actually capable of. And once they get a whiff of it, and once they get a feeling of what that's like, it literally changes the game. It's delicate because again, sometimes you're dealing with some interesting patterns that are underneath the system, and you also have to have.

Marty · 20:46You have to have enough rapport and, and you have to have acceptance from them to be able to delve in that. And you can do that in different ways. It doesn't have to be talking about the initial, you know, problem. It, it can be, you can, you can resolve it

Marty · 21:00through the behavior you want to achieve, where and the result you want to achieve, which I love.

Marty · 21:04Therapy wants to delve into. Let's go back to when you're six. Well, it just causes, you know, more trauma. We've done that a little bit today. But what I'd rather do is go, what's the result that you want? Where are you at? What's causing the concern and what's hindering you moving forward on that result?

Marty · 21:22Adjusting it in real time in order to move through to get the result. So it's not the size of the result. It's like the MO movement through is really where the, where the opportunity lies for people.

Jason · 21:34Yeah. Good. Good therapy session and it's just kind of drawing out, you know, things. Things that I remember were big turning points in my life.

Jason · 21:41And one of them was the, the book Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. And that was all around rewiring your beliefs, you know, so again, you touched on if you've, if you've only ever been able to earn 50,000 or your salary's always been 70,000. But if you've never thought that you, you believe that you could earn one 40 or 200, you know, you then you've never had the

Jason · 22:00desire to put the steps in place to rewire the beliefs, to have the purpose and the then put that into place of, okay, what are the steps I take to become that person or to change my belief, to drive the.

Jason · 22:11Action that's required. Um, and usually then, you know, comes into what we might discuss now is around, you know, the different, the different fears. What, what is the fear that is holding them back?

Marty · 22:21Yeah, generally, generally, it comes down to the, the one belief I see a lot of business owners, even though they're striving to be successful and drinking themselves into oblivion sometimes, uh, and that's an extreme, but we all need outlets, don't we?

Marty · 22:34But, but, um, I'm not good enough or who am I kidding? And you can generally see if I said to you even, and even to me. What's the income level where you start to feel very uncomfortable? Mm-hmm. Isn't that strange? Like you go, it might be, is it two 50? Is it 300? Is it 400? Is it five? Oh, you know what I mean?

Marty · 22:53There's a, you can, you can take that to anyone in their wage where they, so you still gotta find that point where it's

Marty · 23:00realistic as well. Mm-hmm. In order to trend them. Otherwise you blow it out into delusion. Yeah. And they can't entertain it and they'll, they'll just destruct the whole, you know, the opportunity.

Marty · 23:10You've just

Nick · 23:11made me think of something. Obviously I bring golf up a lot because I enjoy the game and I'm trying to get better, but I've, um, there's no secret that, yeah, golf is very mental. So I listened to an episode the other day on a, um, golf podcast talking about the mental side. And identity is such a big thing with golf.

Nick · 23:29So, you know, if you're a 18 handicap or a six handicap, six being a lot better than an 18. You identify as an 18 handicap. And the challenge that most golfers have when they're trying to get down is they don't, they don't think they're a six handicapper and. They feel very uncomfortable when they're scoring well, so one of the biggest problems is, you know, there's 18 holes on a, on a golf course.

Nick · 23:59Let's say you're 12

Nick · 24:00holes in and you're scoring really, really well in line with a six handicapper, the level of you, you, you get very uncomfortable. And what happens a lot is people then have a shitty sick. Six holes to get them back to where they are. So there's, there's actually games you can play by yourself, like talking about training and stuff, um, that try and.

Nick · 24:21Uh, there's a game called, uh, two Balls Best Ball. So, you know, what they say is if you're, if you're on a golf course, you hit two balls and you play your best one and you hit two balls again, and you play your best one. And what it does is it gets you comfortable with, you know, if it's a Path four and you've got there in four, but you've actually.

Nick · 24:41Had two balls going the whole time. It gets you comfortable that you're a par golfer. Mm-hmm. There you go. Um, and it's, um, yeah, perfect example. Yeah. It's exactly the same stuff you've gotta get used to shooting used to, and being comfortable with shooting a low score. You know,

Marty · 24:57perfect example. Exactly what,

Marty · 25:00what I'm talking about.

Marty · 25:00And, and even in regards to another little method you could do is, um, if you're watching one of your favorite golfers swing, or even if you can watch 'em live, it's even better, watch their swing start to just. Duplicate the behaviors, the actions. Just start to, and then just for a moment, picture your, your face on their head.

Marty · 25:21You know, if you get that chance. And actually for the same reasons, Nick, it's basically we micro. Everything's sort of micro and that you feel that in the physicality. You feel that in regards to the attitudes when you're in that moment, very, very powerful exercise. And it takes you outta yourself for a moment.

Marty · 25:40And that's, um, that's sort of that transcendence. But what, um, what Jace was saying, the things I see that come up is, uh. The fear of failure. That's the old chestnut. You know, uh, salespeople, you know, they're scared to approach clients or referral sources, try new ideas 'cause they fear rejection. Um, or, or,

Marty · 26:00or failure.

Marty · 26:00You know, that's, that's, that's a big one. So what's the opportunity that's lost by just not doing that behavior? And for me, I certainly had that standup comedy resolve that for me because I knew 51% of the room might like you. 49% of the room might hate you, and the most important thing is that you are on that stage delivering what you want to deliver.

Marty · 26:23Even if you had a smaller component to that of 20% that liked you, you've gotta market. Right, you've got a following. So again, present yourself, learn, put yourself out there. Now, I'm not saying go and do standup. You don't have to go to that extreme like I did. But I did that to blow myself outta my comfort zones because otherwise I knew the path that it was gonna, it was gonna be for me.

Marty · 26:48So, so to me that was an amazing experience and gave me confidence around anything that I chose to do in the future, because that was quite a significant moment. In my life,

Marty · 27:00and people have to decide what that is for them. Fear of other people's opinions. Ah, it doesn't matter. It does not matter. What matters is your own opinion of yourself and the people you know that you love ultimately, but most importantly, the one of yourself.

Marty · 27:16Because at the end of the day, you have the right to explore the possibilities for you and test yourself how you want to test yourself. You know? I know I'm adventurous, I'm curious. I like to get results. I'm a deal maker and I like to see people win, you know? But I don't want to second guess what's possible too, you know what I mean?

Marty · 27:37Because I'm holding back. I wanna see what that is, you know? And that everyone deserves that right as well. Fear of other people's opinions. Jace. We've all been

Jason · 27:46there. Yep. Yeah, for sure, for sure. I mean, look, and, and it's, it's real every day. I mean, sometimes I don't accept, um, you know, we've got videos for the numbers game and it pops up that I can add that to my personal feed and I go, oh, like, you know, I've got a lot of

Jason · 28:00friends and family that maybe they don't see, or I understand.

Jason · 28:02What I do here is, you know, important and trying to help people have better lives and maybe I get a bit. Embarrassed, shy, you know, not sure it should be on my personal platform and, and sometimes I don't accept the video and it just sits there and I stare at it and go, that's a weird thing to, to not not accept that, but that's fear of people's opinions.

Jason · 28:19People, I used to work with, people, you know, that, that have come and gone from, from my life and just go, they're, they're still able to see my feed and there's people that follow me that I may not be in contact with. Yeah, it's, it's a weird thought to think that, you know, someone who is confident, I've got confidence.

Jason · 28:33I can stand on stage and do presentations, but. There's just weird little moments in life where there is this fear of failure or fear of people's opinions. Um, but yeah, definitely still real and relevant to this day.

Marty · 28:44And you know, me, Jace, I will put that video up of myself because I know it gets a result.

Marty · 28:49At the end of the day, I achieve something that I want to achieve. I, and I don't mind what the, the 49% that don't like me think, because I'm looking for the 10%

Marty · 29:00that do. Or the 20% that do that creates a market. And then you join dots, [every.you](http://every.you) join is a possibility for improvement.

Jason · 29:08Video. Alright. Done. It's accepted.

Jason · 29:09There you go. Accept, accept.

Marty · 29:12It's um, it's really powerful and Nick spoke about the other one, just dad and I had this too. Certainly the fear of survival. You know, it's like if, if that's still a trait. It's, um, you know, fearful money. Sometimes it's very hard to make money off fearful money because you, you do become very defensive and it's not to say go the total other way and be really loose.

Marty · 29:33It's about just having that balance and I think in time with experience, and you would be. Definitely this Nick. Now it's, it's, you know, it's much more balanced and you're making better decisions based on data that you're bringing in. And that's what, that's what gives confidence to business owners sometimes to get them outta their own emotions.

Marty · 29:50It's like, how do you bring them back to a metric or a model that they can have confidence in to progressive? And data's very good for that. You know, you

Marty · 30:00did that. What result did you get? What did you find? What could you do better next time? What worked really well that you could leverage? So as long as you're presenting models and you're doing actions within models, then sometimes that's the confidence that they might not have in themselves initially in order to build confidence and then redefine themselves through it.

Marty · 30:18So, um, yeah, so I hope that, uh, that gives some scope to people now. Awesome. Now how are we going for time, boys? I was gonna run, uh, chase through a little thing, but I don't wanna, we've been going for a little while. Have we got, have we got another five minutes? Got five? Yeah, let's do it. Got five. It. Let's do it.

Jason · 30:39If you've planned it, Marty, let's do it. I don't, I dunno what I'm getting myself into, but,

Marty · 30:43alright, Jay, so I'm gonna put it on you 'cause I think you've gotta get a lot out of it. Okay. Alright. Alright. What, what's a limiting belief that you feel like you do carry? Like, what's, like legitimately where you go, geez, I could just be this or do this, it make a difference.

Jason · 31:00Uh, all right, let's, let's keep it. Relatively tame. Um, you can do business, you can do it. Yeah. I've ran five marathons in 12 months. And a limiting belief is that running a four hour, 3 45 to four hour marathon is me, you know, it's five minute, five minute 15 ks. It's what I do. I, you know, I half as my, oh, you know, I do my training, carry a little bit of weight.

Jason · 31:21'cause you know, I'm the chubby accountant. That's the belief that I've still got. And, and that's me. So that's, that's the limiting belief.

Marty · 31:28So where has this limiting belief come from?

Jason · 31:31Uh, it's just that, you know, uh, I've never necessarily thought of myself as a runner. I've never, you know, been super sporty, played sport younger, but again, you know, got into this running thing later on in life.

Jason · 31:42I enjoy the gym, enjoy working out, enjoy staying fit. I. Enjoy looking at metrics of a whoop of resting heart rate and whatnot. But again, I've, I've never seen myself as being like an athlete ripped, you know, six pack fit, you know, able to run a certain speed. So I've always just kind of thought just I'm an everyday

Jason · 32:00average punter.

Marty · 32:01So what do you think? That limitation is costing you?

Jason · 32:05Well, look, realistically, you know, and again, this, this pains me to review and self-reflect on, but yeah, we're in it, we're doing it. I look at the, the opportunity to have had better results across, you know, London, Chicago, Tokyo, gold Coast, Ballarat, if I'd not had the limiting belief.

Jason · 32:23Did the training a little bit more than, you know, put, put in more effort to the training to target a faster pace per kilometer. Um, you know, deep down it's there, it's in there. I'm, I'm a capable guy. It would just be changing the belief in actually targeting a three 30 marathon. So running 4 45 or 4 55 per kilometer.

Jason · 32:42Um, I look at Greg's journey. He lost 20 kilos and he is going for a sub three hour marathon. I've convinced myself that I'm not that guy and I can't do that.

Marty · 32:50So if you are carrying, let's say you carry that limitation with you across the rest of your life. Mm-hmm. Now, this limitation is not only in regards to running, right,

Marty · 33:00this, this spreads, this is a process that's working in your brain, right?

Marty · 33:03Mm-hmm. So that we, we are neutralizing here. What, what do you think the cost of that limitation is? If you were to map out, you know, to your 80 years of age, what, what do you think that ultimate cost is? Of carrying this. Yeah. The future. Look,

Jason · 33:17it's, it's really, I mean, I can see it now. It's trophies. Thingies, well tr it's, you know, the, a lot of trophies now.

Jason · 33:24It's, it's, you know, when you're on, when they talk about, you know, when you're on your deathbed, you know, you don't wanna think back of what could have been, what I could have done. Geez, I wish I'd done that. Um, so if I'd always limit, if I always moving forward, limit myself to, to be a certain speed, a certain weight, a certain fitness, you know, um.

Jason · 33:41I will get to a point of my time where the opportunity to have a crack because of health, body, whatever else. Um, you know, I'm at a point in my life where I can be the fittest, healthiest, and youngest I can be as of today, but every day I get older and, and things happen as you get older that, you know, again, not to limit that, that you can't be 50 or 60 and

Jason · 34:00run a faster marathon.

Jason · 34:01But yeah, I'd hate to get to 80 or 90 and go, geez, I wish I'd had a crack one day. So that limiting belief could cost me the consequence of not knowing the unknown and that fear of missing out.

Marty · 34:11So what would be a more supportive belief for you to carry from this day forward? Um,

Jason · 34:15the confidence. Then belief that if I, if I want it bad enough and put in the training, I can, I can achieve better results than what I've limited myself to.

Jason · 34:23Uh, you know, I've probably set those limitations due to fear of failure, you know, because if I say I wanna run a three 30 marathon and I don't get it there, I've put it out to the universe that I actually wanna be a faster runner. Um, but. By not putting it out there and not talking about it, not doing it, I, I don't have that fear of failure or fear of people's opinions as well.

Marty · 34:42I'll say it again. What's the belief from this day forward that you are gonna take on

Jason · 34:47that? I can beat Greg. I can run faster than him one day. No, I, I can run faster. I can train, I can get my body right, you know, I can do the right things that support being healthier, fitter, faster. And if I'm gonna keep running

Jason · 35:00marathons, I might as well be good at it.

Marty · 35:02What's the first step? To do that

Jason · 35:05Well with achilles tendon tendonitis, I've got some work to do, but, um, no. So the first step to do that is to, to review my goals, review my behaviors, review the patterns that I have in place around, you know, is running twice a week gonna be enough to get there? No. So it'll be putting a plan in place that, you know, whatever the longer term goal is, set something realistic.

Jason · 35:23It doesn't have to be next month or the month after, but, you know, I know that I wanna run the Berlin and New York marathons in the next two years, so it might be targeting a longer term goal to say. Build fitness, build strength, build the right habits and routines around food and diet and running and, you know, set the belief that I can run a sub three 30 marathon and go for it.

Marty · 35:42And, and you're very honest in your response, and I'll just finish up, but you immediately went to the Achilles, right? Immediately indeed jump to the Achilles indeed to sabotage that opportunity. So again, that might be the first step into go when I wanna accomplish something, I'm not allowing that to

Marty · 36:00creep in.

Marty · 36:00Mm, I'm going to, I'm gonna set the first parameter that I'm going to do from that new foundation. Just, just something. Something to have a look at. What would you, lastly, what would you need to experience for that change? That, that, that belief to become true, that new belief to become true, that you are a person that can maximize your potential in anything you wanna set yourself to.

Marty · 36:21What, what would you need to see for that, to evidence for that to now be a truth for you? And do you need to let go of anything?

Jason · 36:31Oh, yeah, I think let, letting go of that limiting belief and, you know, if I'm gonna do it, look, I think having a coach would help too. I, I know that any runner who's got great results in reducing their time from four hours to three 30, or you know, Greg from three 30 to sub three, that's working with a coach to, to go over these things.

Jason · 36:49So for me, if I'm gonna take it seriously, um, an experience or change for me would be to work with someone who can hold me accountable, keep me working towards those goals, and, and, and instill the belief that it is possible and I can do

Jason · 37:00it.

Marty · 37:00Fantastic chase. And that's the thing, you are important enough to do that, you know, and that, and that's the thing that, that believe.

Marty · 37:07And we all have that, we all feel that, you know, at some level not good enough. And we, you know, jeopardize our opportunities. So it's just coming back to, you've explained it honestly, and, and it was a really great way that you went through it. But again, to create that new foundation, and of course the belief's gotta be important for you as well, but to me it's not so much about the running, it's the belief of you just.

Marty · 37:29Exponentially exploring your capabilities in anything you set your mind to. And you are that person that does great things anyway and is pushing through the, that type of, you know, that type of hindrance. But imagine we alleviate that and allow you to achieve what you want to achieve, how you want to achieve it, because that's the person you are.

Marty · 37:48So. Anyway, that's, uh, just a little something and now you can create a ma a plan of attack, which is a coach for your running or whatever you choose that to be and where to back yourself and, um, well done.

Jason · 38:00Well, thank you, Marty. This has been one of the best counseling and psychology sessions I've been through.

Jason · 38:04Uh, it's nice to know there's others out there that, uh, might have been chubby when they were younger, Nick or, you know, had the, the money things with. Dad's working hard and put money to put meals on the table. Um, if you'd like a set of those questions that Marty just put me through because you want to go through it yourself and you don't necessarily wanna rewind and, and recapture, reach out to Marty.

Jason · 38:22You can find Marty V on LinkedIn. You can find all of us there. Love you to connect with us. We do love getting messages from our listeners. Um, when you have questions, when you have concerns, you want to unpack something like this with Marty, reach out. Get in touch. Um, the team at Innovate are very supportive of this podcast.

Jason · 38:38Same as Future Advisory. We are here to support our listeners to help them have a better future and understand their numbers. Until next time,

Marty · 38:45if you wanna change the game, you gotta start by changing yourself in a good way. Game over.

Jason · 38:51This podcast is for educational and informational purposes only. The conversations are of a general nature and do not qualify as financial or tax advice.

Jason · 38:59We

Jason · 39:00recommend before you make any financial decisions, you consult a licensed professional. Individuals on the podcast may hold positions in the company's discussed. ---